Morgan Nick

It's been a very strange day. I have a dog called Sue - placid old thing - lies around all day getting a bit fatter - never gets too excited. Three days ago the dog warden called at the door - Sue apparently had terrorised some old lady passing my gates. Couldn't have, I thought.
Next day, Dog warden came back. Same again. Now way!, I thought. But then the Dog Warden goes to pet Sue and guess what? Sue snarls at her! I couldn't believe it! And what a person to choose to snarl at - the bleeding Dog Warden!
Yesterday - you guessed it - dog warden's here again. I'm getting worried. Today some of my young staff turn up to get the stuff they need for their job - one goes to pet Sue - Sue tries to bite her. Long story short, in two hours Sue is going to disappear. Breaks my heart to have to do it, but I've no choice. And it makes me really sad to have to take her away. Years of memories gone just like that.

Then I was reading Google news as I do every day. And the Maddy McCann thing is all over the news at the moment. What must those poor parents be going through..... they lost their child - not just their dog.......

As I click through pages about Maddy I come across the story of Morgan Nick.



You've probably never heard of her unless you live in the USA. But Morgan disappeared 11 years ago just like Maddy did. And she's never been found. Google her name and read about her. Put her name in Youtube and watch her video. Ironically the music behind the video is Smitty.

It's really made me think about the plight of missing, abducted and slave children yet again. This world can inflict so much pain on some people, pain that must be all nigh impossible to bear.

I'm gonna miss Sue tonight when she's gone. But I'm gonna hug my kids just that little bit tighter...

Florida

So, what to say about Orlando? We're in an amazing house - 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, huge TV with Premiership beamed in live, 165 TV channels, pool, jacuzzi, just like home! And all for free for the fortnight courtesy of my old boss at the Pru! Thanks Norman.
The prices of things here are DIRT cheap! We're eatiing out for about £23 for the SEVEN of us! That includes unlimited food and drink! Amazing.
We had Taco Bell tonight for supper - £12 for the 7 of us to eat our fill.
I bought Rob Bell's Nooma videos (17 CD's) - they are about £9 each at home - I bought the full set of 17 for £63!!! And it goes on and on. The weak dollar is making everything so affordable.
Laura collapsed with the heat yesterday - Linzi had to carry her down the slope of the mini-golf course she was on - the heat was just too intense. I had already retired after nine holes(three strokes in the lead at the time of course!). It's been between 36 and 39 every day - just like home. Laura was fine after an hour or two and a bottle of rum (water).
I miss the five Romanian girls who are living in my house in Ireland at the moment - and I think about my little circle of friends all the time too - when I get to a good ride in Universal or somewhere I'll think how much I wish McIntyre was here to see it - or I'll see a big pair of humorous boxers in a shop and they'll remind me of Pete!! And I think of all the times Elaine has been here with us.
But even here I can't get away from thoughts of the Third World. Florida is like the consumption capital of the US (at least it seems that way to me) - everyone here looking out for number one and doing their utmost to have a good time. More restaurants than in the whole of Northern Ireland are within five miles of me I bet, no wonder they have huge arses over here! And we're so close to Haiti and the Dominican Republic - two of the most needy countries on earth. Strange world indeed.
Anyway, tomorrow we will go to Typhoon Lagoon - Disney's best water park. Kids are very excited about it. I can never stabd the heat so I'll probably leave around lunch and go cruise the Christian bookshop - Boring old Dad!

Confused

It's been a while......

A couple of days ago I managed to see Amazing Grace, the movie. And what a movie. Make sure you see it. Funny how names like William Wilberforce conjur up images in your mind of old people dressed in suits and speaking in olde English. At least it always did for me. The movie really blew away those preconceptions and showed how Wilberforce and the Prime Minister of his Day (Pitt I think) were young vibrant men with a mission from God. I've always been interested in slavery because of the modern problems with human slavery and found every minute of the film totally captivating.

One theme which resonated with me when an ill Wilberforce was being encouraged by those around him to slow down and get his health back, but he knew God had called him to a life of challenge and service. I still feel the same way about my own life in many ways but i tell you, I've never been so confused.....

One of the reasons I'm confused is this - I've no idea any more what being a Christian means. All my life (until about 5 years ago) I thought my Northern Ireland Presbyterian (with a little bit of Elim and a heavy dose of brethren mixed in, what a cocktail!!) upbringing was 100% right. Strict rules on do's and don'ts, such a strong bible emphasis, a real evangelical. At 18 I thought I had it sorted. I was as tight as the proverbial duck's arse. But life started to challenge those beliefs. Prayers weren't answered for good people around me. Good people died. The church's I had belonged to had ceased to be a real influence, if they ever had been. Then I read Tony Campolo's "Letters to a young evangelical". He could have written that book for me. It challenged everything i'd ever been taught. And it made perfect sense. It almost left me without a foundation.

Then recently I read Shane Claiborne's first and only book to date. What a challenge. To live literally as Jesus had talked about. To give away everything. To forsake most things that the world offers. (Now may be the right time to tell you that I watched Amazing Grace on the plane to Florida for a family holiday. The guilt that this laid on me I can't begin to tell you. Especially after Shane's book.) How the H£$L am I supposed to figure out what God wants from me? Should I sell my girls two ponies and give the money to Compassion to feed the poor? What if that leads my two precious girls into a life of hanging out with bad mates when they would otherwise have been safe and sound in a good environment and on and on..... Should I not be in Florida where I really get the chance to leave a hectic and stressful life behind? Was that a wrong use of money? I honestly don't know the answers....

Then think of this. I have spent a lot of time recently in Romania. About 25 visits probably in the last few years. And built some amazing friendships and mentored a lot of kids. But recently I've began asking myself just how to explain the gospel to them. What is the gospel? How should they react? Is it really a matter of just saying the sinners prayer and being sorry for what we've done? I'm sorry, but I can't buy that anymore. And I know that would devastate some of my Northern Ireland religious friends. They'd think I've gone all liberal. Which in some ways I have.

Then I start to read Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis. What an amazing book. Read it all in the last two days . Totally broadened my horizons and my mind yet again. But in some ways it seems like yet another viewpoint. Another angle to consider which confuses the issue. But in still another way the whole point of the book is that we SHOULD be really struggling with our faith. We should be asking BIG questions. Because our faith's an alive and vibrant thing which moves and changes and flex's. Sacrilidge to all the Drewe's in Northern Ireland. But I believe true none the less.

So here's what I've decided. I'm in Florida now anyway. So best enjoy it. Best give my wonderful kids the time of their lives. Build memories that will last a lifetime. And read some more books as well. And maybe one day I'll understand. Maybe I'll come back to Florida, maybe I won't. But according to Rob Bell, that day may never come when I truly understand....

Get Rob's book and read it. Go to his Mars Hill church website and download some of his sermons. He has mind-blowing teaching in the book about Heaven. Again, teaching which totally challenges what I've always been taught. After I read it earlier tonight I found myself getting out of my bed, quietly walking to the room where my two boys were fast asleep, and sitting in the dark and smiling at them contentedly. Because I know that God is in control.

I hope this hasn't bored you - but I wanted to share my struggles and questions. How to best live as a Christian challenges me every day. I've learned so much recently about what it does and doesn't mean, yet it's still such a challenge to figure it all out. Sleep calls!

(I'll tell you a bit about Florida tomorrow).

New humanity

Every day here in Romania seems to make me a little more human again. Most of the kids who arrived today I already knew, the few I didn't know are little gems. My back didn't hurt today which was a major plus - but just after telling that to Alison on the phone I slipped on a recently mopped tiled floor and thought my hip had popped out to say hello. Boy did it hurt.
These little ones need us so much. It just never ceases to amaze me that they come here for a few days every year and crave our love. They live in a world so devoid of it. I thought before this trip that it may be the last but I know once again that it can't be. So many of these kids are like family. And we are the only family they have. This truly is the kingdom of God out here - next year people - either you're all coming here or we're bringing them all over to Pete's house, It's your decision....

Sorry, one more thing. I really haven't felt the need to preach this year. Just to love. To hug, to listen, to be a warm and open human being. And it's benefitted me as much as everyone else.

In Romania

I've written a few posts on what's happening in Romania on an adjoining blog, but this one's more about what's happening to ME in Romania.
My back has been killing me for two days - right down at the base of my spine. I don't know if it comes from the hip problem or not - but i've made up my mind to go under the knife again and get my other hip replaced. Too many years of constant pain - so next February it'll be back into Belfast. Then at least I'll know if the back problems stem from there.
Been thinking about Pete - for those of you who don't know he has had a double by-pass last week - so please pray for him.
I finished Shane Claiborne's book yesterday - it really challenged me about wealth, possessions and community. And it made me even more sceptical of Northern Ireland "church" I'm afraid. Like Campolo said, take Jesus teaching in the beatitudes and try to set up an organisation completely opposed to thse beliefs, and you would have the church. I'm jealous in some ways of people who love church - who have that genuine community.
I was reading my mates blog, Gary Smith, http://garyideas.typepad.co.uk/, and it's clear how much he loves his church. Lucky fella.
Another interesting thing he talks abut in one of his posts is Duncan Bannatines encounter with God in Romania (he of the Dragon's Den). Read it, it's fascinating.
He also mentions Bannatines tears out here. I've been in tears a lot myself over the last couple of days - tears of searching and tears of anger at God for the hurt that exists here. Hurt that has no earthly justification.
I started to read Rich Mullin's book yesterday and it drove me to tears as well - he had a similar relationship with his father as I did and I've been told recently that I need to deal with that aspect of my past. When I read the letter that Rich had written to himself as if it were from his Dad, I completely broke. So maybe that's something i SERIOUSLY need to consider.
Anyway, there we are. Broken backs and broken hearts. But thank God I still have a Saviour who was broken too. And who doesn't mind worn out cliches....

Romania

If you want t see my Romania blog (mostly of interest to close friends and people who have been here with FFF before, see www.Sinaia2007.blogspot.com

Compassion

As some of you know I am hosting two concerts with Michael W Smith in October. Belfast is selling very well and Glasgow goes on sale tomorrow.
Michael is a genuinely good guy and he does a lot of work for Compassion International, work we will be highlighting on this tour. Just today a new video of Michael in Africa was posted by Compassion - click below to view it.